let's discuss culinary school. I am really enjoying baking class, which is good, b/c that is my area of specialization. I find myself wanting to go to bed bath and beyond to look at there kitchen gadgets and bakeware. And then if something doesn't turn out well in class, I want to try it again at home. Cooking is a little more challenging because my knowledge is more limited, but I'm taking it all in and trying to retain lessons learned. I won't lie. it makes me nervous, b/c I hate to fail and I feel like if i don't accomplish the task in the given deadline, i have. I had to cut up a whole chicken this week and that is just plain gross. Raw poultry, actually any raw meat, is unpleasant. i wanted to put on gloves, but decided to just immerse myself in the experience and handle the bird with my bare hands. I'm better for it, i think, though i must be honest and say that chef bill did most of the cutting.

let's discuss valentine's day. I know it's rather after the fact, but I had a few thoughts on v-day that i wanted to share. i really like valentine's day. i love the cheesy, little boxes of valentine cards and theme candy (i'll pass on the chalky hearts, though) and the tradition of giving the person you love a gift of some kind. the complaints i've heard about this last tradition are mostly about feeling obligated to give something. Because it's valentine's day, they feel like their giving is not out of love, but out of guilt. i suppose I can relate in a way. when i was little, I would forget to say thank you and my mom would tell me to say it in front of the people I was to say it to. As soon as she told me to say it, it was like I couldn't do it, b/c now it was b/c she told me to, not because i was grateful. At least that's how I thought it would look. maybe that's how valentine's day feels to those people. I've witnessed the opposite of that in my family, so maybe that's why I like the holiday so much. my dad sees v-day as an opportunity. He likes to give gifts, so he takes advantage of the day to show my mom he loves her with flowers (and usually a candle or two). i think there is a certain maturity to that viewpoint. that's all.

this is the time of year when cashiers everywhere ask you to donate a dollar to (fill in the blank) with your purchase. I was at charlotte russe and it happened to a girl in front of me in line. She sounded like she felt a little cornered and said "ok" in a dull, uninspired tone. She gave that dollar out of guilt and obligation. It's possible that she does not make giving to others a regular habit and maybe that was the source of her guilt, but I think it might stem more from the fear of appearing stingy by not being willing to give a dollar to a little kid in need. Giving is apart of my lifestyle, so when asked to give a dollar here and there, sometimes I politely decline. I would rather say no then give begrudgingly.
One year, a friend and i were bell-ringers at the mall for the salvation army. We rang the bell, said merry christmas and sang a few christmas carols. Some people gave and some refused but we were having a great time despite the cold. Then a lady in a fancy fur coat walked by (I only remember the fur coat b/c of her response) and, when greeted with a peppy merry christmas from my friend, said, icily and w/o eye contact, "I already gave." We didn't really need to know that, nor did we care. I probably wouldn't even remember her, had she returned the greeting or even kept on walking. Basically, what I'm saying (i think) is that I wish people didn't feel like they had to give or like they need to explain why they're not. Giving can be one of the most joyful actions if it comes from the heart. I don't think it's bad to put the opportunity in front of people's faces, but I wish there was a way to strip away the guilt factor.